Day After Valentine’s Day Love Note
Happy Day after Valentine’s Day. I hope yours was sweet, and not disappointing. Often expectations for such a holiday are high, and the event itself leaves many feeling like it just wasn’t what they had hoped it would be. This, therefore, is a reminder to carry the idea of Valentine’s Day into the rest of the year.
After all, what is Valentine’s Day all about? It is predicated on the notion that those who are in a love relationship, take one day a year to celebrate their beloved. When you think about it, it’s a somewhat silly notion. Sure, as we all know, it’s great for the card, flower and candy industries. Even I got a box of See’s chocolates yesterday. However, I also was told that it was our box to share. Fine with me. That’s what love is about, isn’t it? And what it is meant to be all year long.
Now, I’m not some crazy romantic who needs or wants to be indulged with hearts and flowers all year long. That’s not what I’m talking about here. What is important, however, is the acknowledgment of those things that we often take for granted in the person who is nearest and dearest to us.
If you’ve ever read about the 5 Love Languages (by Gary Chapman), you know that we each have a language of love we respond to. If you haven’t read the book, I support you to do so. It’s short and sweet, and takes just a bit of time to complete, and although I find it simplistic, and not the answer to what keeps love alive completely, it does help to understand what is meaningful to the person you love. I know for me, it is acts of service. I’m not exactly sure of the words he uses at the moment, but I can tell you that when my husband does the dishes, and cleans the sink, I feel greatly loved, and a lot of love in return. And that’s without the flowers and candy. And those things can be done on April 5, just to pick an arbitrary date, just as easily as they can be done on February 14.
I know it is so important at a time like that to show my appreciation for that act of love, because for my ADHD husband, doing that kind of thing is a very deliberate and loving act. Acknowledgment, to me, is all part of the Language of Love. It is a major part of what keeps love alive the other 364 days of the year. And it is something I think we often miss. There are so many acts of love that go by that we may take for granted, thinking they are just a part of the norm. However, when I am acknowledged for doing the laundry, or cleaning the living room, that acknowledgment means something to me. It helps me know that what I’ve done as part of my every day routine is well worth the effort. Someone is paying attention. That feels really good.
Valentine’s Day can be sweet, and fun, and sometimes unique. However, it’s those “Thank you for washing my shirts,” that are really meaningful to me, and that can happen on November 21. I’m just sayin’.